Meet Sandy

This is Sandy.  She was born in October of 2005 (making her currently 6 years old).  She was adopted and given as a pet to a resident in a nursing home.  Through the dementia of a few residents, she was given a very unhealthy diet that resulted in the development of bladder stones.

Which leads us to how Kim and I received her.

Sandy’s owners did not want to pay for her to have a simple surgery to remove the bladder stones (partially because they could come back due to the poor diet).  So an anonymous person paid for Sandy to have surgery, with the condition that she have a good nurturing home to come to.  It just so happened that my wife asked for a dog of some sort.  “Nothing huge, and nothing yippie.  Just something that would fit into my lap.”

I made the offer for her to at least meet the dog.  So one day, she came to my work and I brought Sandy outside to potty.  As soon as she saw my wife, hearts melted.  I knew it was meant to be.

We took her to PetSmart after her surgery a couple of weeks later, and decided to find a few things to make her feel right at home.  She got a pink food and water bowl (fittingly saying “Princess” across the bottom), a variety of treats, and a pink cushion bed.  The bed we really didn’t have much choice on because Sandy decided it was time to relieve herself and it didn’t matter where she was.  As luck would have it, that spot was right in the middle of the fluffy bed that shared vital cart space with her.

We tried finding an optimal sleep space for her.  We tried leaving her kennel in the bedroom with us and putting her in at night.  We even tried just leaving her bed beside ours.  She wouldn’t have any of it.

No, Sandy insisted on sleeping between us.  Under the covers.  Like it or not.

Sandy loves us.  She would listen to what we say and tilt her head to the side, as if to say “Are you sure??”  We asked her if she wanted to go potty, and if she did she went bonkers with a huge burst of energy that eventually lead out to the front door.

When we had to go to work, we would tell her “Alright sug, Mommy/Daddy have to go to work.  Go get in your crate.”  She would tilt her head, just like always.

“Yes, sug.  Go get in your crate.”

Then she would turn and go immediately to wherever her kennel was, jump in, turn around and wait for us to close the door.

She knew the meaning of the words “Treat, potty, Mommy, Daddy, Grandma, ride, Auntie Maddie” along with several others.  She always knew where her treats were, and was cute enough to get one almost everytime on command.

Sandy also has a lot of health problems.  Her back leg was accidentally stepped on by a previous owner, so she favors it a lot during the cold winter months.  She has allergies, and develops hot spots during the warmer months because of it.  And the last few weeks have been plagued with several other health issues.

Sandy would not eat right for a few weeks, but the alarm came when she started having seizures.  What initially started as “bubblegum seizures” (which is what it sounds like…looks like the dog is chewing really hard on a piece of bubble gum) eventually became full blown convulsion seizures.  We were not sure why because this was something that we had not experienced.

Basically, the reason I am saying all of this is because Sandy is currently at the vet’s office.  She has been there since Tuesday morning.  Her blood sugar, appetite, and overall mood has been fluctuating for a few days.  We cannot figure out what is wrong.  Tomorrow morning, the vet is going to perform an ultrasound to try and determine if our dog has cancer.

Cancer is a very ugly word.  Nothing good has ever come of it.  I have lost family and dear friends to it, and now my dog may be in jeopardy because of this ugly and vicious disease.  My hopes and prayers are that it’s something that can be easily treated, whatever is wrong with her.  However, the back of my mind is still haunting me.  And it’s a very scary thing.

I am having a very hard time in dealing with whats going on.  I don’t grieve well, and have been that way for a few years since I started my current job in healthcare.

One way or another, we will find an answer.  But I do want to raise awareness.  They are our babies.  We guard and nurture them the same way they do us.

And this precious little babydoll is currently having the fight of her life.  I just hope we can continue to fight for her so she can live out the rest of her life at home.

Where she belongs.

Anybody else feeling in the Christmas spirit???

So, my wife and I have been pretty avid shoppers for almost the last year.  We started couponing back in April to try and survive on just my income (and trust me folks, it’s not an easy task).  We recently upgraded to a full zipper binder with several different categories to (hopefully) cover everything in your average grocery store.  Needless to say, if we go shopping anywhere, we try and go together.  And why not?  It’s fun.

Which brings us to Black Friday.

Ever since Fox 8 started posting the Black Friday ads, we had been eyeing all the stores like a hawk.  Which store will have the best deals on DVDs?  What would our game plan to be to get the most bang for our buck?  And where the heck are we going to get a big flat screen TV for our living room? 

Side note: Our living room is a very quiet space.  It has been fantastic when it comes to visiting with guests, but there has been a slight void where T’s big screen TV used to be.  And besides, what guy doesn’t dream about coming home, cracking open a beer (or Mountain Dew in my case) and watching football on a big screen?

Our best bet was to go to Best Buy and try to get a flatscreen 42″ for $199.  The plan was to get to the store at 6 PM on Thanksgiving and wait it out.  As soon as K saw the Best Buy ad and noticed “Minimum 10 per store” in small print, she launched into action.  She dropped me off at Best Buy at 4 PM and the line had already begun.  I was approximately number 52 in line.  After 8 hours of back numbing, cold inducing mayhem, I finally made it into the store. 

Oh wait, I almost forgot.  Best Buy gave out tickets prior to opening the doors at midnight.  I heard everything from laptops to tablets and cameras.  I never heard anything about TV’s.  Which meant that more than likely, the people in front of me got everything.  Well played, crazy shoppers…

Anyway, I make it in the store and immediately grabbed a few DVD’s.  I made up my mind that I wasn’t going to go home with my tail tucked between my legs because I didn’t get the BIG deal.  So I grabbed several things, including a printer which acted like my battering ram to knock the crazy people out of the way.  I got about 100 bucks worth of stuff, so all I had to do was wait for my check to go in.

So I waited…

And waited…

And waited some more.

2:00 AM: Still no check. 

I had not taken my medicine, been up since about 8 am the day before, and had not had food since 2 PM with the family.  I called my wife, who was next door at Target fighting the ugly mob there.  I told her I was throwing in the towel.  I put everything back somewhat and walked next door.  She could tell by my face that I was livid.  I even scared a couple of our friends.  They check out and then we walk outside.  I kept pacing and calling my bank, then finally decided to give it one more go.  I wasn’t going to get EVERYTHING I wanted to get, but I could at least take care of a good portion of my wife’s Christmas.  I went back into Best Buy with my friend B.  We stood at the back of the line, which circled a good 3/4 of the entire store. 

Finally at the halfway point, my check went in. 

I didn’t go back to get the other stuff I had picked up earlier.  That could wait for another time.

I walked to the truck, tossed my right leg in, and screamed bloody murder as the rest of me got to sit down after a gruelling 11 hours of not sitting hardly at all.  I went to Sheetz for some breakfast and caffeine, then went home to check on all the animals (including T’s).  I took my medicine and then attempted to lay down around 6:30 for a brief nap.  I was hoping that all the girls would come in the house and be so noisy they would wake me up.

8 AM: K wakes me up.  I had a missed call.  I pulled myself together enough to understand the situation at work, which prompted me to quickly get dressed.  Not even 20 minutes later, K was passed out.

I made it through the work day well enough.  I finally went home around 4 PM.  K was still asleep (or at least I think she was.  She looked at me a few times through squinted eyes but didn’t respond when I said “Hey sugar”.)  I went out to her car, grabbed the tree she purchased and started attempting to decorate the house.

The next 4 hours were a blur.  Between my tension headache, lack of sleep, and trying to keep quiet while K was asleep, I had a time.  She woke up around 7 pm.  We talked for a while about our misadventures from the night before (or was it earlier in the day?  I forget which).  Then decided to go to Wal-Mart for a few other things. 

The debris and carnage was not a surprise once we entered the store.  We grabbed food from Subway and I tried to will my headache away (with a little help from some meds in K’s purse).  We got what we needed then proceeded towards checkout.  Lane number 12 was open but no one was standing around.  So, I started unloading the cart as a worker named “Daryl” appeared out of nowhere.  No greeting, no salutation, not even a meep.  He scanned the items, put a few items in bags (except for a small bag of cat food.  I never knew cat food was too big for Wal-Mart’s plastic bags…) and then hit the total button.  He tapped on the counter as a signal that the transaction was done.  I handed him the money, and he started scanning our two $20 bills as though we were Bonnie and Clyde on a counterfit shopping spree. 

As he pecked our cash into the register, the only words out of his mouth were the following:

“I ain’t got any ones.  You want quarters??”

Never even called customer service for ones.  K and I exchanged looks as we tossed the cat food into a plastic bag and walked towards the door.  We passed the customer service desk as two employees were talking about anything but work.  As we walked by, one of the ladies said “Sir, THAT door is closed.” Then went back to talking to her co-worker.  I don’t remember hearing an announcement about that exit being closed.  And her attitude made me want to smack her across the face. 

K and I looked at each other.  I said “Manager??”

She blinked, nodded, and said “Yuuup.  Manager.”

We stood by the Coinstar machine and waited for a good 5 minutes while the two co-workers continued to converse.  Finally the one that spoke to us earlier turned and said “Y’all need help with something?!?!”

We said “Yes, we need to speak to a manager.  Please.”

We explained the situation to the manager, who was more than happy to help us.  He grinned as he said “Oh, don’t worry…I’ll take care of this.”

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One year later…

Wow, it has been a LONG time since I have posted. The only way I even remembered having this blog was following a link on my wife’s blog (which incidentally enough, she just started back on too).

Yes, I have a wife now.

It’s very surreal to think of how things were back when I started this blog to where I am now. I had a lot of anger and a lot of skeletons that I was still trying to clean out and put in a yard sale. Some are still haunting me, but I am working through it.

One year ago, I was sitting in the Penn House in Reidsville, having a very romantic dinner surrounded by my friends and family. All of the people I truly cared for surrounded me, with a very beautiful and very fantastic woman sitting beside me. She laid her head on my shoulder and said “Isn’t this fantastic??” The panic of cold feet didn’t set in until about 10 o’clock that night.

My fiancee gave me a kiss and I saw her leave out the front door with her friends for her last night as an unmarried woman. I wrapped my arms around my chest and felt very awkward. I asked my mother and my family if there was anything that they needed help with. They said “No, you’re perfectly fine!!” Then my mother looked at me and said “Honey, are you alright?” That’s one of the first times I ever remember my mom asking me that.

Then…I burst out into tears. I panicked.

I realized that all of the hustle and bustle was my fault. I popped the question, I gave the ring, and this is what happened. I was not used to all of this attention being about me and my life.

That feeling lasted for the next two days until my wife and I drove to the beach for our honeymoon getaway.

Now it is one year since we had that fantastic rehearsal dinner. I am attempting to recreate the meal in it’s entirety (save the desert, which will be our wedding cake). I don’t know if I can pull it off or even if she will notice. But I am going to try my hardest to recreate the magic from that night. Except for one minor detail…

She won’t be walking out the front door.

The start of the “Best Year Ever”

A lot of people tend to say that if the year starts out bad, it has a better chance of ending really well. Let me clarify, it has NOT started out horribly. In fact, it’s started out pretty damn good so far. There were just a few bumps in the road that made a lot of the days just stretch much farther than they should have…

New Years party was pretty fun. Lots of drunk people, beer pong, paddling for birthdays (complete with sorority paddle), and one hell of a New Years kiss. I can’t complain. Then I woke up the next morning to find Looney Tunes playing on Cartoon Network ALL DAY LONG. Jeez, why can’t they do this kind of stuff throughout the year? I even busted out one of my old Looney Tunes DVDs the other day. (Which, by the way, my favorite cartoon involves Daffy Duck and Porky Pig playing a radio show called “Truth or AAAAHHHH!!” where Porky Pig has to keep paying the penalty for getting the questions wrong.)

Work since Christmas has been insane. I have had one full weekend so far and (no matter how much my girlfriend says that my work is fired) I’m still working as a temp. I at least know I will be there through next week simply because of a comment made about scheduling. With the doom and gloom I have heard about on the news, I’m just glad to be earning a paycheck…no matter how small it is.

And then….there’s my girlfriend. I couldn’t help but smile at her post about our first kiss. She has been nothing but supportive and caring, and I couldn’t ask for anything better. I don’t feel any kind of pressure to put up a huge front as far as going out and doing things. We can sit and watch Spongebob in our PJs with a bowl of cereal and feel completely at ease with the world. (And trust me, anybody that can handle me in my PJs while watching cartoons is definitely a keeper).

So for the song, no meaning, nothing sappy or laced with innuendos. Let’s just rock our faces off…check it out!!

Peace…

Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart. (Unknown)

That’s a refrigerator magnet one of my friends gave me a couple years ago. That supposedly sums me up pretty well. To me, though, it serves as a very friendly reminder of where things have come in the last 26 years of my life.

Tomorrow will be New Years Eve. It will also be one year since my grandmother’s funeral. Despite personal differences, that is one woman that I truly adored. She was very distinct in her ways and opinions, but listened to what you had to say regardless.

Anyway, she is one woman I learned a lot of my peace from. However, the events that followed the funeral for the following year have been truly groundbreaking and life changing.

It still boggles my mind exactly what sort of impact we have in each others everyday lives. There are many things in this world that you just can’t change. You simply have to accept what happens and continue on with your life accordingly. But sometimes the ripple effect can be felt a long time after the initial event happens.

If you ever want to see what I’m talking about, check out Run Lola Run. It’s like a long MTV music video, but it shows the lasting effect from something as simple as bumping shoulders with somebody, tripping them intentionally, or giving money to a bum on the streets. It really gets you thinking…

I guess what I’m trying to get at is that the hardest life lesson I ever learned is to be at peace with my actions and decisions on a day to day basis. Be sure of yourself in every move you make, because the results will change the world.

And starting at 12:01 AM on Thursday morning, it’ll be a start to something….

The best year EVER!!!

Less than one week…

So I started thinking a couple weeks ago about New Years. Everybody wants to make these massive changes to lose weight, to quit smoking, etc. I made up my mind that this upcoming year will be, by far, the best year EVER!! (Sorry VH1, I think I beat you to it…)

The only real resolution that I have to make is to be the best son, grandson, nephew, brother, boyfriend, and friend that I can possibly be…but I should already be doing that anyway. It’s not worth it to set goals for that stuff because it’s just a part of everyday life. To be the best at who I am…

The biggest deal with me is that I have all these ideas and mini projects in my head, and no outlet for them. I mentioned before about wanting to be a DJ, and may have even mentioned about a website idea (and believe it or not, I’ve got a couple really cool book ideas too). All I want is to be successful this year, not just financially but also creatively. It’s the best way I can find balance with whatever stress is in my life.

And just for curiosity’s sake, I might even decide to add at the bottom exactly how many cigarettes I’ve smoked. That might be the scariest part, though…

All I Want for Christmas

I guess I’ll join in on the 20SB blog.

Here we go.  All I want for Christmas, using the 5 senses.

1.  Sight : I want to watch Charlie Brown Christmas.  I have missed it I don’t know how many years now, but nothing warms my heart more than seeing Charlie Brown with his little tree, and then Linus explaining the true meaning of Christmas on stage.  (And don’t you forget it, either…)

2.  Smell:  Apple cidar.  I’m not a huge fan of the taste, but my Grandmother used to always have some for our Christmas get togethers.  That combined with the very regal Christmas tree in the den always made it feel like Christmas to me…

3.  Touch: Hugs.  LOTS of hugs.  And I don’t mean the little wimpy squeezes with a small pat on the back like you’re going through the motions.  I want TONS of hugs that make me feel like I was truly missed, even if we just saw each other a few days ago (you know who you are….)

4.  Hearing: <br> It’s NEVER Christmas until I have heard this song…and now I’ve heard it…and now it’s Christmas. 

5. Taste: Cherry Delight.  It has always been made at EVERY family get together, on both my Mom and Dad’s side of the family.

Christmas, and turkey, and screaming teenagers…(Oh my….)

So, I was one of the unfortunate souls who had to work on Black Friday.  I debate on using the term fortunate OR unfortunate for two reasons:

1.  Fortunate because I got to avoid the barbaric crowds, the insane lines, and I got more hours on my paycheck.

2.  Unfortunate because I want a vacation…dammit.

Having one random day off in the middle of the week sucks ass.  I was at work for about 45 minutes, when al of a sudden my mood/energy just crash landed into the concrete floor.  I wanted to go home, but I also really wanted that gift card for the showroom.  As it turns out, every employee (temporary or not) receives a gift card for the holidays equal to the amount worked on Friday and Saturday.  It’s great because I get to buy these really fancy little knick-knacks and whatnot for my friends and family…and I don’t have to pay for it. 

I agreed to work on Sunday, so I’m dreading the LONG haul until next Sunday…the 6th….my next day off….but yay for money!!

Overall, Thanksgiving wasn’t too shabby.  I helped my grandmother put together lasagna (no, we’re not Italian…we’re just non-traditionalists…sometimes).  Mom didn’t come, which sparked a few private conversations about her depression.  I’m at a loss over what to do.  Do I yell at her, grab her hand and drag her out of the house?  No…because she’s my Mom.  I love her to death, and I’m acting the same way she did when I was out of work for 6 months.  I can only do so much…

And yes…I saw Twilight.  I was pretty satisfied with the movie, despite the droves of 12 and 13 year old girls in the theatre that gasped when Edward came onto the screen (I can’t remember the actors name and am too lazy to look it up right now).  I now am in posession of an “IOU” card with Kim’s name on it for putting up with the crowd (yes doll, I’m rubbing it in your face only slightly.)  I love any kind of vampire movie, and am always intrigued by the new spin on a classic creature.  Check out Dracula 2000 if you don’t know what I mean.  The take on Dracula was ingenious, even if the movie was pure B-rated glory.

Anyway, everybody take it easy.  Maybe I’ll find a free thought or two and toss them up here before my next day off…8 days and counting…..

The Weekend Starts Here

Ugh.

Just ugh.  It’s been a while since I posted, and I still have a draft floating in my “Inbox”.  I was going to put up another video mix entry (thanks Kim), but I just haven’t been able to sit still long enough to really think about what songs to add.  Too much to choose from…

If you haven’t heard yet…Chinese Democracy hits in 2 days.  Not the idea, but the CD.  The album that Guns and Roses has dangled over everybody’s head for the last 15 years will finally hit.  I listened to the preview on MySpace (okay, only half of it) and I’ve got a few comments to make.

This is a fantastic album…if it wasn’t done by Guns and Roses.  See, labels for bands give you a preconceived notion of what a song, album, show, etc. will be like.  This is NOTHING like what you would expect.  Very industrial, very rhythmic, and even a few ballsy and bold song choices by Axl Rose.  Granted, a few of the songs would be great…without Axl Rose wailing at the top of his lungs.

However, I will buy the CD.  This is a part of music history, even if it’s not worth all the hype put into it.  Either I will have one of the top 10 CD’s in my collection…or I will have a $20 coaster for my free Dr. Pepper

(Quick side note:  Dr. Pepper’s VP made a comment in March that if Guns and Roses comes out with Chinese Democracy by the end of 2008, then everybody in the world will get a free can of Dr. Pepper.  If you go to drpepper.com on Sunday beginning at 12:01 am, there will be a free coupon to print for your can.  Maybe some good will come of this…..)

Continuing on music, whatever happened to Big Beat?  I have been on a massive electronic kick lately, and I want more.  But bands like Prodigy and Crystal Method haven’t come out with anything that really defines Big Beat in a long time.  Fatboy Slim has a new CD possibly coming out early next year.  However, I’m sick of trance.  I went to a club in Chapel Hill last weekend and about went crazy from the first DJ who played nothing but trance.  It had no substance, no flair.  I want Big Beat, I want pumping house and jungle music that makes me feel like bouncing and thumping my head for hours while I’m at work.

And trust me, my head was bouncing pretty hard today to the song stuck in my head.

Wanna know what it was??

(And by the way, don’t crank this at work or anywhere that cringes at the F-bomb….)

Imagine, if you will…

If you want to know exactly how my mind works on my bad days (or even mediocre days), picture this occuring.  And by the way, feel free to fill in the blanks on exactly which character is which aspect because it’s constantly changing…